lolhellno:

lolhellno:

i saw a fake skeleton for sale today for $849 and i was like wtf i could get a real skeleton for free fuck that then i remembered murder is illegal

you’re all going to jail for reblogging this

calyumsbigbum:

Me: *talking on the phone late at night*

Bae: Who are you talking to?

Me: Oscar.. from Target.

Bae: Oscar from Target at 3 in the morning? Let me see this. *grabs phone* Who is this? What are you wearing “Oscar from Target”?

Luke: Uh… Khaki’s?  (gif from hemmosbutt)

ellfiee:

yes

Played 2,099 times

sapphirekeytomyheart:

"…She wraps those hands around that pole

She licks those lips and off we go

She takes it off nice and slow

Because that’s pornstar dancin’

She don’t play nice, she makes me beg

She drops that dress around her legs

And I’m sitting right by the stage for this

Pornstar dancin’…”

gypsylolita:

Gypsy
  1. The boy who takes your virginity is only going to love you long enough for you to stay in his bed.
  2. Your first job is never the best job. But you’ll meet some of your best friends there.
  3. Sometimes things don’t go the way you expect them to at all.
  4. People are usually never who they say they are.
  5. If you love someone, you need to tell them. Nobody is good at the guessing game.
  6. If your best friends don’t like the boy you’re involving yourself with, chances are he’s bad news.
  7. If a boy starts an invitation with, “Are you home alone”/”I’ll be home alone”, say no. You are a human being, not a toy to be played with.
  8. If some boy invites you to “the backseat of his truck”, he’s a piece of shit. Tell him to fuck himself.
  9. “Sorry” doesn’t always fix what you messed up.
  10. Stop wasting time wishing you could take back what you already did.
  11. You are at fault sometimes.
  12. There’s going to be a boy that you let get away. Yes, you loved him. It’s for the best, though.
  13. Toxic people hardly ever start off toxic.
  14. It’s always nice to make new friends, but never forget who your real friends are.
  15. Never lose the friends that would answer their phone at 3am if you called
  16. Never lose sight of who you are because of a boy.
16 Things I Learned While Being 16 (via dizzyhemmings)

ellepaca:

chdori:

every time this comes on my dash i watch it and every time it becomes even funnier than the time before and eventually it will be so funny that i will literally have an aneurysm and die.

I’m fucking crying

(Source: coolator)

slytherinsuperwholock:

This will be the nursery for my twins.

Deff doing this

slytherinsuperwholock:

This will be the nursery for my twins.

Deff doing this